星期二, 七月 17, 2012
昨夜幽梦忽还乡
张爱玲曾说过，在梦中回的那个家，才是心中真正认定的“家”。
昨晚，我又梦见了，那个广玉兰下的院子，正是黄昏，想来斜阳满地一如过往，梦中的我却低头疾走而过，不敢停留，不敢细看，怕推开院门，一切已非旧日。
一切早就非旧日，那个院子的拆迁，在我16岁时，如今我的闺女也已牙牙学语。时光总是如此倏忽易过，每个人若是立定了，静心检视，都会有桃花源里归人，不知今夕何夕之感。山中桃花正艳，而山外早已换了人间。
梦里故乡，是虹口区秦关路上曾经的一栋花园洋房，二战时，从欧洲避祸至上海的犹太人所建，1949后，住进了十几户寻常人家，挤挤于一院。
曾经的花木扶苏，彼时只余下一棵高大的广玉兰树，寂寂如华丽逝去后的一个背影。广玉兰树，四季常青，每逢6,7月，一树花，满院香，又名荷花玉兰，洁白如莲，却是高高开在树上。没有了临水照花的惊鸿蹁跹，却常在梅子黄时雨后，落下一地白色花瓣，片片如盛汤的大勺，积满了夜半的雨水，又软，擎不起来，一捏，雨水就全洒了。
院内另有一棵桑树，听说不知何时自己生长起来的，姑且唤作野桑。野桑并非生长于陌上，而是长于井台旁，水井封闭废弃多年，每年桑葚成熟季节，井台周围总余斑斑落红，那是，如我这般的顽童，用脚去踩那满地的桑葚，却不怕自己的鞋袜，裤脚，也染上初夏的印迹。那些桑葚却没人去吃，现在想来，觉得有些奇特。后来有一年，水井被重新掏淤启用，井水带着地下水特有的凉意和气味，是冰镇西瓜的天然用品，在那冰箱还不普及的年代。不知有多少桑葚悄悄落入井中，是否连井水都变得酸甜。
一直很喜欢秦关路的路名，秦时明月汉时关，首尾相连，就成了路名。这条小小的宽窄如北京胡同，上海弄堂的小马路，前临热闹的四川北路，后接安静的多伦路，在我极幼小的时候，我还有印象，路面是“台格路”，高低不平，车轮碾过，会“格楞格楞”作响，后来才铺成了水泥路面。
四川北路从来商铺林立，是逛街购物的好去处，而多伦路则安静中透着端然。有一个教堂，曾经虹口越剧团在那里，萧雅韩婷婷就成名于那个时期，后来越剧团搬走，恢复成教堂，每到礼拜天，就有钟声遥遥响起，还有隐约的风琴声。长春地段医院所在的小洋楼，似乎最早是汤恩伯的小公馆。还有许多不知名的小洋楼，只是安静，只是住着寻常百姓人家。后来多伦路开始改造所谓的文化一条街，原先的住家陆续搬迁，老房子开始修缮，开始发掘历史，人们才突然发现，这些洋楼原来都有一段过往，抚去岁月的烟尘，露出曾经的风流底色。
我却记得秦关路快到尽头，快到多伦路的转角处，有一家酱油店，我小学同学叫张晶慧的，就是酱油店老板的闺女，那时才是纯正的打酱油，酱油酱菜等等都是零拷，她家生意不错，她也总有挺多零钱，请我吃各种古怪的零食，几分钱的麦芽糖，萝卜干，诸如此类。
闭上眼睛，就能看到我家的门，窗户，我自己的小窗户，就能看到站在我家院子里，抬头看到的那一方天空的轮廓，“秦关路1号”是门牌号。
只是不知，我的闺女，九万，在回上海后，是否会记得她在北京的家。她还太小，没有记忆吧，没有记忆，也很好。
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