星期三, 九月 13, 2006

谈谈虚荣心

东方人也许是世界上虚荣心最强的人群吧,也许西洋鬼子的虚荣心表现的方式不同?但是谁都知道,中国人是非常看重面子的。
虚荣心,金山词霸解释到:对虚荣的渴求心理;对自身的外表、学识、作用、财产或成就表现出的妄自尊大;对表扬或赞美的渴求。北师大出版社的名词解释:虚荣也称虚荣心,是一个人过于追求表面上的荣耀、光彩,以赢得他人尊重的心理。有虚荣心理的人,看重别人的眼光和评价,对自身外表因素的重视甚于对实际和内在价值的重视,是一种不健康的心理。感觉出版社的名词解释更贴切些。

这些解释可能都比较抽象,不过有几个关键的点:1、追求表面的光彩;2、看重别人的评价;3、超越了自身实际情况。

爱慕虚荣,是人,多多少少会有一些的。无非就是根据强弱程度,侧重点,以及自己自身的认识不同,表现形式会千差万别罢了。

不妨先举几个爱慕虚荣的例子吧。
大家都知道苹果电脑除了做设计这一主要作用外,还比普通的PC机精致,美观,还有品位。比如某人,买了一台苹果的笔记本,这有两种情况,一种就是此人的确需要一台苹果来做相关的设计工作,还有一种情况就是,苹果的优点几乎用不上,主要用途也就是上网打字聊天看片,这些人买苹果的目的主要就是为了贬低PC机这样的所谓垃圾货,借以提升自己的品位与众不同。外人一看,啊,用苹果的,立马就刮目相看,机主也因此心理得到极大的满足。这就是虚荣心的具体体现之一吧。

这个例子稍稍复杂了,简单些的,比如我们小时候,没啥新衣裳穿。好不容易过年的时候,父母给做了套新衣服,赶忙穿在四处显摆,可以连穿多日而不舍得脱下来。还有现在很多小朋友在一起攀比谁的爹妈有钱谁的爹妈有权的,也是幼小的虚荣心的具体体现。

有句古话,所谓家丑不可外扬,其实不也是虚荣心的具体体现么。

还有一种更隐蔽的体现,可能在政客中比较容易发生,主要的目的就是沽名钓誉了,除了虚荣心,可能还有一些其他目的了。具体例证,不说了,很多假新闻一看就明白。现在不是流行所谓的做秀嘛!

不过很多事物都不是简单的用好或者坏,健康或者病态,美或者丑来直接分类的。每天能吃到鱼和肉,自然脸上就光彩些,这点虚荣心不能算是有什么问题的,总没必要明明能吃鱼肉偏吃稻糠的了。能用的起莱卡拍照,又何必去买海鸥凤凰甚至尼康佳能,成像的差距,还是客观存在的。以及等等等等未能尽举。所谓过犹不及,一味的追求虚荣,就是病态的了,甚至是有险恶用心的了。

那么这个度如何把握呢?我想关键是对自己的心态的调整,无论谁,就算是天上的神仙,也是有虚荣心的。关键在于,是否刻意的让别人知道,也就是说爱拿出来显摆!如果总爱拿出来显摆,就要调整一下心态了!哪怕是刻意的让别人知道自己低调,都是病态的虚荣心。

----初稿

作者 Tiger (随笔) :: Comment (51)

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