五车的书

08 四�, 2005

清明

— 作者 runlong @ 01:11

今天是清明


父亲昨天就回常州老家，而我今年还是缺席了奶奶墓前的祭拜。

写奶奶这两个字的时候，会感到别扭，因为从小依照老家的习俗我叫奶奶的亲娘的。

奶奶出生在书香门弟，但是因为是女子没有受过很高的教育。后来随爷爷来上海，但是坚决不同意爷爷续二房，从而离开爷爷。之后也没有改嫁，从来没有吃过苦的她，靠变卖首饰以及打碎工，含辛茹苦把四个孩子抚养成人，倾其所有让他们接受一切可能的教育，其中三个最后成为教授，孙辈们中博士硕士也算是一大把，孩子们成为她最大的骄傲。

奶奶是重男轻女的，所以一直以来她都是最疼爱父亲和我的。在我出生的那天，奶奶特别的高兴，一定要亲自到阁楼上去把传家的那双虎头鞋翻出来，结果不小心摔了下来，惊出我父母一身冷汗。我现在用的这个法定的姓名也是奶奶给起的，虽然起于无奈，倒真是让我受用终生。奶奶非常的疼爱我但从不溺爱我，就如她对她的儿辈一般。

奶奶的身体一直很好，几乎从来不去医院。80岁的时候还一个人在家整体各种皮具箱和樟木箱里的零碎，80岁的时候还从蓬莱路走路到淮海坊我看望我多年中风的外婆，80岁的时候还能一个人回老家操办祭祀。 81岁的夏天，奶奶说她背疼，地段医院的医生说大概是年纪大了心律不齐引起的，81岁的秋天，奶奶的大面积背疼让全家非常的不安，但是肿瘤医院的医生说一切正常。81岁的秋冬，CT断层图像清晰的告诉我们肺癌晚期的事实。81岁的冬天，癌细胞扩散到脑部。那年正月初七，父亲从医院打电话回来告诉我们奶奶已经离开了我们，电话里父亲泣不成声。

今天是清明，我想我的奶奶。

图片上的那个孩子是我的父亲。


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