五车的书

23 一�, 2005

脸

— 作者 runlong @ 01:36
tmd, 这就叫花钱买罪受。

人的脸很重要，因为天天要暴露在外面对人展示各种表情。如果这张脸有什么比较大的缺陷的话，那么事业爱情都会遭受各种挫折，无论你的表情多么的到位。

很遗憾，我的脸就有重大缺陷，让我在前三十年里饱受挫折，于是下决心对这个缺陷痛下杀手，在这个辞旧迎新的日子里，哪怕花再大的代价也要搞定这个缺陷，让我人生的后三十年里过得轻松愉快一帆风顺。

这个缺陷就是-----痘！

从初中二年级到现在，这个东西困扰了我足足十五年，而且一直没有良策去对付，只能听天由命，长得少的时候心情好一点，长的多的时候心情郁闷一点，就这样起起伏伏，终于我受不了了。

躺在一块平板上，那个看起来看挺面善的小姑娘，先在我脸上抹了不少东西，然后估摸来回搓了半个小时，边上还有一个长的像长颈鹿一样的东西喷着热气，让我多了一丝睡意。

正当快睡着的时候，听到机器隆隆作响，小姑娘拿了一根试管在我脸上像探地雷的一样小区域的搜索，不时地还发出啧啧声--“油真多”。这根试管颇有吸力，感情原来是吸油的。吸到鼻子的时候酸痛的难以名状。约摸15分钟，可以缓一口气。

等我再睁眼的时候，小姑娘拿了一把凶器在我眼前晃着。 利器一头针状，针长10mm，一头圈状，直径5mm。不知百晓生的兵器谱上有没有这个利器的记载。

江湖传言，千万不能惹三种人，和尚，残废和女人。此话果然不假，小姑娘先用针头插入我的穴道，然后左右捣鼓一下，然后换头死命的按。NND, 常人真难扛过这一招。额头处倒也罢了，两颊没有大片骨骼支撑的地方，痛得我只能紧缩我的大脚趾。在女人面前总不能是弱的，我总是面带微笑的。一会儿引起了众人的围观 “有个疯子，挑痘的时候还在笑...” 没看见我的笑中分明有着泪水。

耗时不祥之后，小姑娘看我快崩溃了，于是从兜中掏出一瓶药水，淡黄色，在我脸上撒了一点，刚刚被针刺过的地方再一次受到季度的刺激，大脚趾带动小腿一起再次收缩了一下。

又被抹了不知道多少药之后，脸上被人蒙上了石膏，一张脸只留下两个鼻孔，让我话也说不得，干啥都不得。对于小姑娘的面善，我的解释是妇人的心再善也是毒的。

又不知到过了多久，大概我已经失去知觉了，石膏被揭掉了，灯光很刺眼。脸上又被搞了很多东西之后。姑娘拍拍我的头，说，搞定。迷茫的睁开眼，从我躺下到现在已经五个小时了。

这些针刺的地方，通常在3-4天里会有很深的印子，很深。好不容易好一点，又到下一次去受虐的时间了。感觉还不如不去做。tmd, 这就叫花钱买罪受。


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